What Happens When You Jump

I recently had a slow day. I’ve been running around so busily lately, and my meditation practice is helping me to be able to see what my mind does. On this slow day, I didn’t strive to get things done, to accomplish, to move ahead. I didn’t hurry. I took my time with each small [...]

A great source of my suffering has come from comparing myself to some concept of “standard”.
Also believing that I am outside of, separate from the Universe of All. The sad belief that I was not good enough and needed to somehow become good enough to be allowed in. It has begun to shift. As there [...]

What is it about night and my obstanance to stay up later than I’d decided I would, eat when I said I wouldn’t? What is it about night that I don’t trust? What is it about being tired and missing or misreading the cues? What is my relationship with night that conflicts with my best [...]

I am aware today that I am living as though I am dying. Sometimes people seem uncomfortable when I communicate this and quickly interject, “But you’re not dying!” The truth is, I don’t know how much time I have. And so, I am living as though I am dying. It strikes me that to live [...]

Making choices has been feeling very specific (again and still.) There are very few things I can do and feel balanced, well, happy. There are many opportunities: classes, concerts, people, places. I can be with José, but how much do I want to be with him? I don’t have time to spare doing something that [...]

November, 2008
I often have opinions of my feelings, what comes up…that it is too trite, that I shouldn’t be so bothered by “this”. Another way I choose to view it is that it IS important. It’s of UTMOST importance. Because life is not a race nor a goal. I won’t be good enough “someday” and [...]

Written during my first six months living in a village in Mexico, 2006. A time of doing exactly what I wanted to do, when and how I wanted to do it.
Mid November….it’s a Tuesday
This is one of the things I’m enjoying. I’ve looked at a watch about four times since I’m here, and I sometimes [...]