What Happens When You Jump

Some days I can feel the energy is bouncing, chaotic, and that it is not a day where doing what I had planned is what’s on the Universe’s agenda for me.
Today was like that. My landlord’s son arrived with a huge machine operated by a man with ear phones around 9. He’s going to build [...]

Today I have become a huntress of wood. Searching for and listening to the voices of what I find. Does it want to come with me? A firekeeper of the mundane. It’s good. Maybe better. In this, I am in a state of conscious connection which I always desire but primarily mustered for ceremonial fire [...]

Summer 2008
As the afternoon’s wonderous thunderstorm was conjuring herself, I went and picked a leaf from a tree behind my bungalow. The fruit on this tree looks like strange hands with bright yellow meandering fingers. The leaves smell like the very best of the lemon verbena smell in Froot Loops. I’m infusing some tea now. [...]

Spring 2008
I’ve been working on getting internet in my bungalow for about 3 weeks. Without it, several times a week I spend most of the day walking down into town, checking email, going to market, doing other errands, and returning back home either by walking or combi (public minibus) by around 4. That’s practically a [...]

Summer 2008
I have my period again. That juicy well-oiled feeling coursing through me fully, thickly.
I was hanging clothes on the line thinking,  “What could be better than this?” and realized: It’s not what it is, it’s that it is. It doesn’t matter what I’m doing, it’s that I am doing it. That anything , all [...]

I am aware today that I am living as though I am dying. Sometimes people seem uncomfortable when I communicate this and quickly interject, “But you’re not dying!” The truth is, I don’t know how much time I have. And so, I am living as though I am dying. It strikes me that to live [...]

June 2008
The feeling I have, had just now was so magnificent, so filled with the extraordinary richness of my simple life. Sitting on the ground, one cushion below me, the other between my back and the low ledge that borders my small garden and bit of grass. The air, so fresh. The sky blue with [...]

Making choices has been feeling very specific (again and still.) There are very few things I can do and feel balanced, well, happy. There are many opportunities: classes, concerts, people, places. I can be with José, but how much do I want to be with him? I don’t have time to spare doing something that [...]

December 2006, Living in a Village in Mexico with a woman named Yolanda.
This morning I did my laundry like I do every week, by hand.
Several weeks back, Yolanda asked if I’d like her to teach me how to wash clothes by hand. I said yes with gratitude and humility.
Humility is the wise side of shame,
and [...]

Winter 2006
What I see is that for so many years I have been aware of my desires and attractions. I have felt the dis ease of my life, mainly the busyness of it and the knowing that I needed much more time that I had to decompress, process, feel, be in connection with myself and [...]