What Happens When You Jump

I’m being encouraged to write and continue sharing my journey. I’ve not been writing because I’m in such an unexpected place in my life.
I can write about how I learned how to approach a tree for climbing and to climb it.  How I’ve made friends with my neighbor. About my ego mind’s ideas and opinions [...]

April 15, 2009
The night I slept on the roof, Barbara, who had just returned from being away for some days had come up to the roof to check the tinaco to see if it had water in it. We talked and she told me she had just come from a vision quest (”la visiona” it [...]

Every feeling I have I want to feel now, as it appears.
For who knows?
It could be this feeling is of dying.
I could be dying.
And I know I want to be aware when I die.
Therefore I want to feel every feeling as it occurs.

Winter 2008
I have been broken and cracked. Now I am being pulvarized into small pieces which hopefully will make it impossible for me to reconstruct myself as I was, as I have been.

I asked for things to crumble, but I thought it would be with the security of “knowing” something, which would be a rail to clutch as all dissolved and swirled into the next right thing. I have been experiencing again how much I struggle to hold on when something is trying to die (change).
How many [...]

I’m reading the Dalai Llama’s book on the Art of Happiness. Now he’s talking about compassion and intimacy. Every subject is a blank slate for me. I am uncomfortably aware of the lack of compassion I approach others and ESPECIALLY myself with. I am trying to cultivate this. I suppose it’s “fake it till you [...]

Winter 2006
I want to write about knowing nothing. Coming to Mexico to live for essentially six months without the language is the epitomy of the sense that I often have that I know nothing about life, about being alive. Arriving knowing virtually nothing and feeling completely dependent on Maribela was in a sense my worst [...]

I am aware today that I am living as though I am dying. Sometimes people seem uncomfortable when I communicate this and quickly interject, “But you’re not dying!” The truth is, I don’t know how much time I have. And so, I am living as though I am dying. It strikes me that to live [...]

Spring 2008
My worry, fear, shame, sadness; my grief, is that I miss 97% of the opportunities that come to me where I could respond differently. I may appear courageous and a victor, but really I have not been doing the work. Or at least not that work; the work of new behavior. I look at [...]