What Happens When You Jump

My yard is a dog’s playpen: old shoes, bones, rope.
When Chandla knows we are going walking she gets excited and likes to grab a bone and bring it along. LIke a toddler, within yards of the gate, the bone is dropped as our movement brings other scents and sights that must be followed.
My normal reaction [...]

I remember in Biology class in college learning about blue green algaes, that they were the first food on earth and that they contain the most energy directly from the sun. I remember learning about sun energy and how when we eat, we are really eating sun energy. The further away from the direct source, [...]

April 15, 2009
The night I slept on the roof, Barbara, who had just returned from being away for some days had come up to the roof to check the tinaco to see if it had water in it. We talked and she told me she had just come from a vision quest (”la visiona” it [...]

Winter 2009
I am the force that pushes the Breath through, from one end to the other and back again, like tossing a shuttle between two edges of the loom’s warp.
I am the one who decides what this breath Does.
Does it cleanse? Deliver gifts of newness?
Does it carry debris past the viewing screen of my consciousness?
Flecks [...]

I asked for things to crumble, but I thought it would be with the security of “knowing” something, which would be a rail to clutch as all dissolved and swirled into the next right thing. I have been experiencing again how much I struggle to hold on when something is trying to die (change).
How many [...]

I’m reading the Dalai Llama’s book on the Art of Happiness. Now he’s talking about compassion and intimacy. Every subject is a blank slate for me. I am uncomfortably aware of the lack of compassion I approach others and ESPECIALLY myself with. I am trying to cultivate this. I suppose it’s “fake it till you [...]

Summer 2008
I have to say the truth, dear Presence:
My way is not fun, creative, nourishing. It’s tiring, stress, fear and worry producing, boring, monotonous, lacking in fun, spontaneity, warmth, adventure. The rule “I can’t be with people till I get every idea done” keeps me inside, driving, buying, alone, grim, angry.
I don’t know what to [...]

What is it about night and my obstanance to stay up later than I’d decided I would, eat when I said I wouldn’t? What is it about night that I don’t trust? What is it about being tired and missing or misreading the cues? What is my relationship with night that conflicts with my best [...]

Winter 2006
I want to write about knowing nothing. Coming to Mexico to live for essentially six months without the language is the epitomy of the sense that I often have that I know nothing about life, about being alive. Arriving knowing virtually nothing and feeling completely dependent on Maribela was in a sense my worst [...]