What Happens When You Jump

I recently had a slow day. I’ve been running around so busily lately, and my meditation practice is helping me to be able to see what my mind does. On this slow day, I didn’t strive to get things done, to accomplish, to move ahead. I didn’t hurry. I took my time with each small [...]

I’m being encouraged to write and continue sharing my journey. I’ve not been writing because I’m in such an unexpected place in my life.
I can write about how I learned how to approach a tree for climbing and to climb it.  How I’ve made friends with my neighbor. About my ego mind’s ideas and opinions [...]

September, 2008
I am here now. My hands are cold and my windows are open. I keep taking the sheets on and off the line as the rain starts and stops. Will they be wet until November?
I went to get water at the Spring. There were two large green leaves laying under where the water poured [...]

Sept 17, 2008
I want to live with nature and in harmony and not use too much and be strong enough to withstand changing weather conditions. I want to be like a cave woman and forage and make fire and cord, carry water, grind grain.
And I’m in this bungalow in the mountains that is not built [...]

Come with me into the world of feelings. Into the depths.
See? it’s nothing. Breathe with me, dear one as I stroke your head.
All I want is for you to be here with me.

Every feeling I have I want to feel now, as it appears.
For who knows?
It could be this feeling is of dying.
I could be dying.
And I know I want to be aware when I die.
Therefore I want to feel every feeling as it occurs.

A great source of my suffering has come from comparing myself to some concept of “standard”.
Also believing that I am outside of, separate from the Universe of All. The sad belief that I was not good enough and needed to somehow become good enough to be allowed in. It has begun to shift. As there [...]

Winter 2007
In terms of the expression of my opinions, I feel like a rocket that has gained enough velocity to burst through the atmosphere and move freely. It takes a lot to break through the membrane of this cocoon, but beyond it, is peace, space, and the joy of choice.

What is it about night and my obstanance to stay up later than I’d decided I would, eat when I said I wouldn’t? What is it about night that I don’t trust? What is it about being tired and missing or misreading the cues? What is my relationship with night that conflicts with my best [...]

Winter 2006
I want to write about knowing nothing. Coming to Mexico to live for essentially six months without the language is the epitomy of the sense that I often have that I know nothing about life, about being alive. Arriving knowing virtually nothing and feeling completely dependent on Maribela was in a sense my worst [...]