What Happens When You Jump

My yard is a dog’s playpen: old shoes, bones, rope.
When Chandla knows we are going walking she gets excited and likes to grab a bone and bring it along. LIke a toddler, within yards of the gate, the bone is dropped as our movement brings other scents and sights that must be followed.
My normal reaction [...]

I recently had a slow day. I’ve been running around so busily lately, and my meditation practice is helping me to be able to see what my mind does. On this slow day, I didn’t strive to get things done, to accomplish, to move ahead. I didn’t hurry. I took my time with each small [...]

I’m being encouraged to write and continue sharing my journey. I’ve not been writing because I’m in such an unexpected place in my life.
I can write about how I learned how to approach a tree for climbing and to climb it.  How I’ve made friends with my neighbor. About my ego mind’s ideas and opinions [...]

September, 2008
I am here now. My hands are cold and my windows are open. I keep taking the sheets on and off the line as the rain starts and stops. Will they be wet until November?
I went to get water at the Spring. There were two large green leaves laying under where the water poured [...]

Sept 17, 2008
I want to live with nature and in harmony and not use too much and be strong enough to withstand changing weather conditions. I want to be like a cave woman and forage and make fire and cord, carry water, grind grain.
And I’m in this bungalow in the mountains that is not built [...]

Summer 2008
I breathe you. I try.
Where are you and why are you not breathing with me? That is why I labor. You stand below Life, feet stuck in the belief of stuckness. Waiting. Still. Unmoving. Afraid to be noticed, seen, breathed by life.
You are a substance to be inhaled and exhaled by Creation. We breathe [...]

Come with me into the world of feelings. Into the depths.
See? it’s nothing. Breathe with me, dear one as I stroke your head.
All I want is for you to be here with me.

Every feeling I have I want to feel now, as it appears.
For who knows?
It could be this feeling is of dying.
I could be dying.
And I know I want to be aware when I die.
Therefore I want to feel every feeling as it occurs.

A great source of my suffering has come from comparing myself to some concept of “standard”.
Also believing that I am outside of, separate from the Universe of All. The sad belief that I was not good enough and needed to somehow become good enough to be allowed in. It has begun to shift. As there [...]

Summer 2008
I have my period again. That juicy well-oiled feeling coursing through me fully, thickly.
I was hanging clothes on the line thinking,  “What could be better than this?” and realized: It’s not what it is, it’s that it is. It doesn’t matter what I’m doing, it’s that I am doing it. That anything , all [...]